Waiting

Waiting. Not many people like to wait, and I know for a fact that I am one of them! How many of you are waiting on something right now? Waiting for a promise to come to pass, waiting for a wayward child to come home, waiting on that job offer, waiting on *insert here*. How many of you have said/thought to yourself, "Well if I can just get past this", or "Once this happens then I'll be able to..."? I am guilty as charged on many accounts with this. But friends, what if God is found in the waiting, in the interlude, the breathing space, the "this" of your situation?

I'm about to get really personal with you guys because I want you to know that you are not alone in your waiting. Ever since I was a little girl, my greatest dream was to become a wife and a mother. And I can tell you that one of those has come to pass, I have been blessed with the greatest husband & friend a gal could get. He is a dream! But now the desire to be a mother is even greater, and this is where my "this" situation is staring me down. We have been trying to get pregnant for over a year now, with no results as of yet. Now, let me backtrack a little and say that God is SO good! My husband is a 2x cancer survivor and the Lord healed him completely from it. That all in of itself is a miracle and I am beyond thankful. With that being said, with all the treatments he did during his first round, the doctors said he would have a slim chance of being able to help with the baby-making process. BUT. We both know who our God is, and that He is the way maker, miracle worker, and promise keeper. All true. But that doesn't take away from the fact that what we are facing isn't hard, we are after all, human. I'm not going to lie, there were a few times when I thought I was pregnant only for it to not be so. And I've had to wrestle with slipping into the pit of despair (Princess Bride reference anyone?) being angry at God, and not wanting to be intimate with my husband. *cringe factor* These are all real and raw feelings, and it's okay that I've felt them, the Lord wants my good, bad, and ugly. I've wanted to give up on trying and settle that it's not in the books for us, but oh how untrue that is. The Lord placed that desire in not only my heart but my husbands. Our greatest desire is to be parents and raise a whole tribe of little Davis'! Waiting sucks yall, I am not going to sugarcoat it and try to make it sound better/easier than it is. But again, here is my question. What if God is found in the waiting, in the interlude, the breathing space, the "this" of your situation?

There's a saying that I hear/see often that says, "While you're waiting for a door to open, praise Him in the hallway." Well, what if I don't feel like dancing? What if I want to sulk in the corner and shake my fist up the big man upstairs?! It's ok, He can take it. He isn't mad at you for having feelings, sweet friends, He wants you to come to Him with all of the suck. Mhmm, you heard me correctly, all of the suck! Let Him take it for you, let Him come restore your soul with His refreshing waters. Psalm 37:4 says that we should delight ourselves in the Lord, and those desires that we have in our hearts, He will give them to us! There's a catch though, it doesn't tell us when, because with the Lord, timing is far different than our own. Sooo you might as well just get a timeline out of your system because I can almost guarantee you, it's not gonna be on your time at all. I know the timeline that I had planned out is now laughable because it was wildly different. I love that 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, "And in the midst of everything be always giving thanks, for this is God's perfect plan for you in Christ Jesus." Notice it says ALWAYS be giving thanks. EW! Who wants to do that when emotions are icky and running rampant in your life?

Something that I try to live by is this, there is always something to be grateful for, sometimes it takes a little more effort to find, but there is something there, look for it. The book of Romans is probably one of my all-time favorite books in the bible, aside from Psalms. Romans 5:2-5 says, "Our faith guarantees us permanent access into this marvelous kindness that has given us a perfect relationship with God. What incredible joy bursts forth within us as we keep on celebrating our hope of experiencing God's glory! But that's not all! Even in times of trouble, we have a joyful confidence, know that our pressures (tribulation) will develop in us patient endurance. And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope. And this hope is not a disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us!" Such a beautiful promise from the lover of our souls to us. Don't give up hope, hope is a vital player in this game that life deals us.

So what do you think, friends? Will you choose to find God in the waiting? Will you allow Him to sing HIS melody over you in your interlude? I want Him to sing and dance with me in the hallway as I'm in waiting to get pregnant; because I believe with every fiber of my being that I will be a mom and that my sweet husband will be able to step into the role of dad. Is it hard? Absolutely! Is it tiresome? You bet. Is it worth the waiting? Without a doubt. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, so lean into Him, trust the process, and trust the timing. Trust Him in the waiting.

You are so loved, sweet friends. You are seen. If He said it, we can believe it, because He is a man of His word. Rest assured of that. Here's to the waiting!